Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Who's really to blame?

I just had a very interesting conversation with a friend that I haven't talked to in a while.

We discussed life, and mainly love. More specifically, we talked about finding love and how difficult it is.

We are both at a point in our lives where we feel that we are ready to embrace a serious, long-lasting relationship. And we feel that our lives are wonderfully complete, minus that significant other to share it with. 

As I was talking with my friend, I realized something that, in short, really pissed me off. And I feel that I should share it with you all.

As a young, attractive woman in fairly large town and at a large university, you would think I would have no trouble finding a good, steady boyfriend, right?


I haven't dated, or even come close to dating, anyone at college yet. I've had a few short relationships in the past three years, but those were all from old family friends or old friends.

It's not that I haven't found any contenders, I've had some decent guys come along. 

So I'm just gonna say it here. It's them, not me. 

I am a level-headed, attractive, funny girl that likes to drink beer and watch Netflix. I'm perfectly fine with spending the day holed up in your apartment or going out to a raging party. I'm literally game for just about anything.

I don't expect a ton out of someone I'm in a relationship with. Text me good morning. Send me a few messages throughout the day when you have time. Hang out with me a few days a week. Text me good night. Don't lie to me, and that includes omission. Put up with my friends, even if you don't like them because I'm doing the same for you. 

How hard is that? Seriously, I really want you to answer. Are those things really that hard to do? 

While we're on the topic, let's talk about friends with benefits. 

It's not a good idea. It never is. It never will be. Just don't do it.

And, yes, I'm speaking from experience here. 

You'll either end up falling for them or it will be the most awkward conversation you've ever had when you find someone else that you want to get serious with. 

I think leading people on goes hand-in-hand with friends with benefits. 

Guys can do FWB with ease. Girls, we just don't have the capability to not develop some level of feelings for someone that we are sharing such an intimate act with.

But I'm going to call out the guys on this one. Girls will hold those feelings in until it just slips out one day, probably not planning on telling you they really like you, but you probably said something stupid and we were trying to make you feel better. 

Guys just can't handle it. They think that a label (FWB) puts that relationship in a little box that can't ever be moved into a new box (actual relationship). Then they run away like scared little dogs with their tails tucked between their legs.

And the worst part? They won't give you a reason. They'll just stop talking to you. No more texts, no more snapchats. Nothing, nada, zilch. They just vanish like you were never a part of their world for even a second.

And then they wonder why girls have so many trust issues. Get it together, guys. Be blunt. Don't wanna date me, just wanna fool around? Cool. 

Now just grow a pair and say it.

I guess in short of my rambling, I'm just sick of guys not handling things. People say that women are the weaker sex, but I say that it takes some real balls to tell someone you really like, or maybe even love, how you really feel. And how many times does a guy actually do that? In my experience, hardly ever. 

If you're going to share some level of intimacy with someone, expect it to cross all sections of your life. And be prepared to own up to it. Don't run away and hide, be a man and embrace it.

Monday, December 9, 2013


Trust is a scary, scary word.

In just 5 simple letters, an entire lifetime can be completely ruined.

How are you supposed to trust someone completely? Entirely? Forever?

I ask this question simply because I do not know the answer.

 Love baffles me, but I still believe in it. I love my mom. I love my major. I love my boyfriend.

But how do I know that I can trust them? Are love and trust actually meant to go hand-in-hand? I'm not sure.

I do know that love requires some level of trust, but how high does it have to go? Should it be just enough or enough to fill the oceans?

I trust my boyfriend with my life, with my heart. But when he goes out, I get nervous. I'm afraid of things that will probably never happen. I'm afraid of losing him again. I'm so afraid of something that I can't even put a name to. He, however, thinks I don't trust him.

Is that what trust is? Having no fear of something bad happening to the one you love? Is trust letting go of all your worries and all your cares? See, that's where I think his definition of trust is wrong.

Do I think my boyfriend is going to cheat on me? No.

Is the opportunity presenting itself to him? Maybe.

Does that make me nervous? Yes.

I don't think that trust has anything to do with being nervous about your loved ones.

Trust is simply giving someone the chance to hold your heart. Trust is the action of loving. Trust is knowing that at any moment, they could tear your world apart, but you still give them your world anyway.

That's my definition of trust. What's yours?

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Courage or Crazy?

I have always believed that you should have the courage to say exactly what you feel and not have any regrets. You feel what you feel, and people have a right to know how you feel about them. I know that I would want to know! So, I've made it a point the past couple weeks to tell people exactly how I feel about them.

Unfortunately, I've only had the chance to do so one time. I told one friend of mine that I'd had a crush on him for a while and thought that we would make a great couple someday. And, much to my surprise, he agreed! And admitted that he'd been crushing on me, too! Nothing is going to come of it, at least not yet, because he is abroad right now and we will both be going to different schools in the fall. But, it was nice to know that I had an admirer.

To be able to buck up and say how I feel was liberating. Maybe I only feel so confident about it because I haven't had any negative feedback yet, but I'm sure it's equally as liberating when the person doesn't appreciate it.

So, to wrap up this extremely short blog, say how you feel! Compile all the courage you can and just blurt it out. Say it to their face or send them a text! (Just be sure to hit send before you change your mind).

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Prince Charming My Ass

It's been too long since I've written! Let me give you all a little catch up story.

First of all, remember Prince Charming? Well, it was too good to be true. He was more like Prince Cheater. With people that I go to school with, and I go to a school with about 1,000 students. Needless to say, we figured it out real quick. So, my views on love, anyway, have changed just a little since my last post.

But, you can never lose hope. I still think that my Prince Charming is out there somewhere. And he won't be a Prince Cheater, a Prince Liar, a Prince Mistreater, or any of those things. He will be the right one for me and I'll be the right one for him.

That being said, I have realized a few things since this whole fiasco has gone down.
1. People aren't always who they make out to be.
2. Trust your gut, it's probably right.
3. Listen to your mom, she knows what she's talking about.
4. When you say no more chances, mean it.

All I'm trying to say here is that we, as women, deserve to be treated like a princess. I mean, why else would we refer to our perfect man as Prince Charming? I've never heard any man call his perfect woman Princess Perfect or anything along those lines. Sure, girls are dreamers and we can get our heads stuck up in the clouds sometimes (or, rather, up the asses of our current boyfriend). We still deserve to be treated how we wish to be treated. We are all princesses, and, dammit, we deserve our freaking prince.

So ladies, if you've found Prince Charming hold on to him tight. In fact, you should probably tie him up somewhere so he doesn't run off to find like three more Cinderellas. Don't let his words fool you, judge him by his actions. And never, I mean never, give someone a second chance. If they couldn't do it right the first time, they sure as hell aren't gonna get it right the second... or third... or fourth.

Keep your heads up high so your tiaras never fall off.

Love always,